Selasa, 31 Januari 2012

[T383.Ebook] Free Ebook Contextualization: Meanings, Methods, and Models, by David J. Hesselgrave, Edward Rommen

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Contextualization: Meanings, Methods, and Models, by David J. Hesselgrave, Edward Rommen



Contextualization: Meanings, Methods, and Models, by David J. Hesselgrave, Edward Rommen

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Contextualization: Meanings, Methods, and Models, by David J. Hesselgrave, Edward Rommen

This classic textbook brings together the meanings, proposals, and tasks involved in contextualization. Hesselgrave and Rommen explore the history of contextualization in the Bible and the Church while examining the proposals of prominent thinkers on this subject. They conclude with their own definition and approach to contextualization. Those who have come to expect expert analysis of contextualization from David Hesselgrave will not be disappointed with this work. "His Expertise," writes George Peters, "shines through in this book."

Teaming up with Hesselgrave is Ed Rommen, who, according to Peters, is "becoming an authority in practical contextualization." Together they skillfully bring the labyrinth of meanings, proposals, and tasks of contextualization into clearer focus. The result, says Peters, "is the most comprehensive treatise on the subject produced by evangelical scholars."

The authors survey the history of contextualization in Bible and church history, explore significant proposals of prominent thinkers, and evaluate these proposals from five different perspectives. They conclude their study by outlining their own definition and approach to contextualization, using numerous examples to illustrate their methods.

  • Sales Rank: #1110364 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: William Carey Library
  • Published on: 2013-06-24
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x 6.25" w x 1.00" l, .94 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 291 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
David J. Hesselgrave is the author of Communicating Christ Cross-Culturally: An Introduction to Missionary Communication, Planting Churches Cross-Culturally: A Guide for Home and Foreigns Missions, and Scripture and Strategy: The Use of the Bible in Postmodern Church and Mission.

Edward Rommen is the editor of Christianity and the Religions: A Biblical Theology of World Religions, Missiology and the Social Sciences: Contributions, Cautions and Conclusions, and Spiritual Power and Missions: Raising the Issues.

Most helpful customer reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Cornerstone Textbook for Bringing You into a new Context
By A Customer
This text intelligently presents concepts invaluable to understanding non-Western world views & societies. It will get you thinking in new ways that will help you tune your cross-cultural ministry communications to make them impact those you've been sent to more effectively & compassionately. It is brainy--which is good. So if you're looking for a light read, this isn't it. It's still a core read for the serious missionary.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Robert Waworuntu
Thank you

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Senin, 30 Januari 2012

[H862.Ebook] Download PDF You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start & Succeed in a Farming Enterprise, by Joel Salatin

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You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start & Succeed in a Farming Enterprise, by Joel Salatin

You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start & Succeed in a Farming Enterprise, by Joel Salatin



You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start & Succeed in a Farming Enterprise, by Joel Salatin

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You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start & Succeed in a Farming Enterprise, by Joel Salatin

Have you ever desired, deep within your soul, to make a comfortable full-time living from a farming enterprise? Too often people dare not even vocalize this desire because it seems absurd. It's like thinking the unthinkable.

After all, the farm population is dwindling. It takes too much capital to start. The pay is too low. The working conditions are dusty, smelly and noisy: not the place to raise a family. This is all true, and more, for most farmers.

But for farm entrepreneurs, the opportunities for a farm family business have never been greater. The aging farm population is creating cavernous niches begging to be filled by creative visionaries who will go in dynamic new directions. As the industrial agriculture complex crumbles and our culture clambers for clean food, the countryside beckons anew with profitable farming opportunities.

While this book can be helpful to all farmers, it targets the wannabes, the folks who actually entertain notions of living, loving and learning on a piece of land. Anyone willing to dance with such a dream should be able to assess its assets and liabilities; its fantasies and realities. "Is it really possible for me?" is the burning question this book addresses.






  • Sales Rank: #18683 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Polyface
  • Published on: 1998-06-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.25" w x 6.00" l, 1.68 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 480 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
Joel Salatin and his family own and operate Polyface Farm, arguably the nation's most famous farm since it was profiled in Michael Pollan's New York Times bestseller, The Omnivore's Dilemma and two subsequent documentaries, Food, Inc., and Fresh. An accomplished author and public speaker, Salatin has authored seven books. Recognition for his ecological and local-based farming advocacy includes an honorary doctorate, the Heinz Award, and many leadership awards.



Most helpful customer reviews

599 of 624 people found the following review helpful.
Inspirational, entertaining, but misguided and poorly edited
By Oregon Farm Mama
I read this book the year my husband and I first started our organic vegetable farm (five years ago). It was a VERY inspirational book, and at the time I wanted EVERYONE I knew to read it. Salatin is highly entertaining and motivating -- the book is well organized into topical chapters with lots of lists and bullet points. It's a great read, and several chapters are RIGHT ON (such as the chapter on what to avoid and how to deal with moving to the country).

However, there are also some big scary flaws in the book that make it somewhat dangerous in the wrong hands. First of all, Salatin's list of BEST farming enterprises is very persuasive but doesn't account for differences between farms, regions, and markets. He ranks poultry operations as being highly profitable, but today chicken feed prices in the west (can't speak for elsewhere) are so high that all the small-scale poultry operators I know have gotten out of the business. Meanwhile, new farmers keep trying to do poultry because of Salatin's book, but I have yet to see it pencil out in reality for anyone.

Also, there's a big math error in that chapter as well. While he endorses vegetable growing as a viable enterprise option, he kills it with faint praise when he says this:

"In order to move $30,000 worth of stuff, you need a lot of pounds of stuff, and you need a lot of customers. If the average person spends $600 per year on fresh vegetables (which I'm sure is a high estimate), you would need 500 customers in order to gross $30,000. Because the price per pound and average purchase is higher for animal proteins, we here at Polyface can do that volume with fewer than 100 customers, on average. That's a hefty difference."

The problem with this analysis? $600 x 500 = $300,000!!!!!!! To make only $30,000, you would actually only need **50** customers paying $600 each. Big mistakes like this really bother me, especially when they're paired with such a strong argument in favor of one thing over another ... I just wonder how many uncritical readers have read this point and turned towards livestock production rather than fresh veggies (which is what we grow on our farm -- and we have found to be HIGHLY profitable). And, by the way, our average customers spends almost $1000/year on vegetables.

I also have a hard time swallowing Salatin's aggressive marketing techniques. He admits to GIVING AWAY free pullet eggs at market even though there were other farmers selling eggs that same day. He's even proud of this decision! Here in Oregon, the best resource we have are other farmers. We try our best to cooperate, even as we compete in the same markets (some call it "cooperatition"). Giving away product or undercutting others prices is not a good way to make friends with (or be fair to) other farmers.

Finally, I think that in Salatin's enthusiasm he verges on making farming sound TOO do-able. Let me tell you: farming is hard. You CAN farm, but new farmers need to have training, knowledge, good health, physical strength, money, land, time, and energy (and much more too). I have seen so many people start up farms with big dreams but not enough resources. Some of them have made it after fumbling a lot, but many others quit.

The advice in this vein that annoys me the most is when Salatin claims you can hypothetically farm without a tractor (and goes on to recommend buying a large BCS tiller, which is nowhere near as versatile as a tractor). Meanwhile, Salatin himself has a tractor. Every successful farmer I know has a tractor. Maybe on a very small scale you can make it without a tractor, but the reality is that to really succeed, YOU NEED A TRACTOR! They're useful for so many things besides tillage. And, getting a tractor is just not a big deal -- tractors are available used in all scales and price ranges, and they're not that hard to learn how to operate.

So, in conclusion, I'd still recommend this book to a wanna-be farmer, but with some big caveats: Salatin is a highly opinionated, fairly extreme (Libertarian Christian) man who offers his advice from his particular point of view. Take it ALL with a grain of salt and be prepared to tailor everything he suggests to your own farm, region, and market.

...

ETA 11/28/11: I've given this review a lot of thought and reflection since I first wrote it, and I've come back now to change it a bit. First of all, I've changed the review to three stars. Really, the book probably deserves more, but I want to make sure the points I make here stand out, because I feel like they really are important to note for possible future farmers (especially the bit about math and veggies).

But, upon reflection (and reading some of the comments), I definitely have been too harsh in my attempt to offer an alternative opinion here and point out the problems that I see. I've been reading more of Mr. Salatin's work and thinking more about our own farm experience, and honestly I can't think of an author I would recommend more to an aspiring farmer (along with Wendell Berry). The thing is, (in my opinion), when Mr. Salatin gets it right, he gets it really really really right. But there are moments when his strongly voiced opinions are seriously OFF from my real world experience. I think that in all his books (including this one), Mr. Salatin consistently underestimates the real world cost of animal feed and labor. Some of this might be related to the time of writing or the region or the fact that Polyface Farm uses apprentices rather than paid employees (a system that is very useful but unfortunately not legal - there have been crackdowns on intern programs here in Oregon lately).

Overall, I think that when Mr. Salatin speaks about specifics from his personal experience, he shines, and I seriously love the man. When he starts getting prescriptive about other farms (such as the top ten enterprises list), I start to get frustrated. This is true for me with any farm writer. Ultimately, every farm is so unique that it is up to the farmer to "figure it all out." Mr. Salatin acknowledges this in every book, including this one, so hopefully that is the take-home message for readers, and I'm glad to emphasize it again here: Ultimately, YOU have to figure it all out!

51 of 55 people found the following review helpful.
Powerful
By A Customer
This is one of the best books I've read on any subject, not just farming. Salatin's sage advice on basic life skills (debt, sacrifice, discipline, being a good neighbor, etc) alone is the worth the price of the book. In addition, his model for sucessful farming is well thought out and clearly presented. Buy this book!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Philosophizing With a Pitchfork
By Adam J. McKee
If you are looking for a step by step guide to growing fruits and vegetables or raising cattle, move on. This book is not for you. Salatin doesn't spend a lot of time on carbon to nitrogen ratios. This isn't a technical manual on crop production. It is more of a folksy treatise on the philosophy of sustainable independence. If you have ever considered earning part of your income off of the land, then you should read this book. Salatin will at once inspire you and warn you about farm life. Once you understand what this book is not, you can begin to appreciate it for what it is. It is one man's manifesto for a better, simpler life lived closer to the land. It has been said that Friedrich Nietzsche "philosophised with a hammer." If one allows for the use of steel tools by a philosopher, then I submit that Joel Salatin philosophised with a pitchfork.

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Sabtu, 28 Januari 2012

[G149.Ebook] Free PDF Mapping the Mind: Revised and Updated Edition 2nd (second) edition, by Rita Carter

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Mapping the Mind: Revised and Updated Edition 2nd (second) edition, by Rita Carter

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Mapping the Mind: Revised and Updated Edition 2nd (second) edition, by Rita Carter

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Mapping the Mind: Revised and Updated Edition 2nd (second) edition, by Rita Carter

Discusses how the brain works.

  • Sales Rank: #758084 in Books
  • Published on: 2010
  • Binding: Paperback

Most helpful customer reviews

61 of 61 people found the following review helpful.
A visual pleasure
By A. Ferrari
I had recently read "The Developing Mind" by Dan Siegel (an excellent but slow reading book because it is crammed with interesting data). I decided I wanted a book where I could visualize what goes on in what parts of the brain. This book is it: Great pictures and comprehensive easy-to-read summaries of the functions of all parts of the brain.

67 of 68 people found the following review helpful.
Carter's Map Is A Tour de Force!
By PRB
I am a retired neurobiologist who teaches a short course for adult learners entitled "An Operator's Guide To The Brain." I have used dozens of books from which to draw material, as well as my own research experiences on the cellular biology of neurons. None of these books is as valuable to me as Carter's "Mapping The Mind." The graphics are superb, and the layout of the book, where text, text boxes, the words of specialists, and graphics, are used to drive home the message, is remarkably creative. The information presented is very up-to-date, and there is so much to learn that the book lends itself to revisiting over and over. Of all my "brain" books, this is the one I would keep if only one had to be chosen. No doubt some will argue that the layout isn't as integrated and coherent as it might be, what with text boxes popping up here and there to interrupt word flow, and others might quibble about Carter's take on this or that, on the whole this is a truly remarkable book. In ten years some of it will be outdated by new findings in a fast-moving field, but the work nevertheless is truly inspired.

74 of 78 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting but some points debateable/probably wrong
By W. Walker
This book contains alot of good information about the functions and pathways used in the brain. But I think there are a number of areas where I disagree with her conclusions and those of at least one boxed "expert" reports. The boxed expert is Steven Mithren from the University of Reading. He speculates that racism may have arisen because H. Sapiens Sapiens, with advanced "social and technical intelligence" may confuse the social (fellow man) with technical objects which provides the potential for some races to believe that other races are inferior to others because of a mixing of thoughts about humans, animals and objects. He believes our social/technical knowlegde provides a potential to treat others as objects. "There is no compulsion to do this, simply the potential for it to happen." When it comes to human thought, there is the potential for anything to happen. He points out that this has happened throughout human history. The tendency to see others as objects already has a diagnosis and its not "Cognitive Fluidity." Its Antisocial personality disorder. Its something hard to prove either way but it seems like a speculation that few good scientists would engage in.

When the author discusses "theory of mind" she believes it is an innate human ability to know what is in another person's mind. That is not literally true. Theory of mind is when we begin to realize that people have different thoughts and attitudes than we do. It also, depending on the definer, may include the ability to infer what other people are thinking because of what they say and how they act. We never know what is in another person's mind even if they tell us directly. As people mature they begin to realize that behavior is generally a better indicator of a person's state of mind than what they say but for some, this comes fairly slowly.

She also thinks the case of Phineas Gage gives the example of a brain module gone bad. Phineas Gage had a massive amount of brain tissue damage, primarily in the inhibitory prefrontal lobes but it was not limited to that area, or even a "module." Gage underwent a significant personality tranformation and had a very hard time with any long-term goals or goal directed behavior. Buy he had not developed a "complete inability to direct or control himself." His prefrontal lobes were gone which lessens our ability to inhibit inappropriate behavior but I don't think the result was an "Id gone wild." He didn't go on a massive crime wave nor was he a serial rapist. He had some control, but he had lost much. Gage is seen as a victim of a sluggish (or non-existent) brain module. This then raises the question should the Gage's of today, relapsing drug addicts and alcoholics be unworthy of sympathy and does putting repeat criminals in jail really the thing to do to those whose module is merely sluggish? First drug addicts and alcoholics in recovery don't want sympathy. They appreciate empathy but sympathy puts them in a "one down" position. Should recidivist criminals be put in jail? As of now, we don't have good alternatives. Would the author like a repeat rapist moving in next door or a child molester helping her children cross the street because he got a job as a crossing guard. I think unlikely. Regardless of a "bad childhood" or "bad modules" we are responsible for our behavior and sometimes that behavior warrants punishment and removal from society

Too often she does what she says are the thing that scientists engaged in brain mapping loathe. She seems to often ignore the qualifying phrases that scientists use when they are uncertain, like "could be involved in" "might play a part in" or "offers a plausible mechanism." A good scientist would realize how such minimizing phrases make what may appear to the uninformed as fact, are actually an admission of "we really don't know."

She also proposes that when the mind is mapped completely, we will know everything there is to know about the mind. She states when the map is known, "we will be able to target psychoactive treatment so finely that an individual's state of mind (and thus behavior) will be entirely malleable." Sweeping assumptions like that are why neuroscientists don't like journalists at their conferences, though Ms. Carter rationalizes a different reason. "It may even be possible to alter individual perception to the extent that we could...live in a state of virtual reality, almost entirely unaffected by the external environment." She then says since we seek mind altering drugs and sensatition seeking this would be the culmination of an "old ambition." We have people who live unaffected (we think) by external reality--catatonics. A virtual life unimpeded by the messiness of reality may seem to some desirable but I'll pass.

There are other if not mistakes, further examples of what a journalist can do with superficial understanding of the subject. I'm surprised her physician consultant didn't question some of her claims and inferences. There are more exampes of unwarranted conclusions, biased language and frank errors but read it for yourself. I could be wrong.

If you're not hung up on literal accuracy and don't mind excessive speculation, this book is still pretty good and I would recommend it, if you can put up with some of her conclusions that are really just potentials and possibilites which she at times confuses with facts

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Minggu, 22 Januari 2012

[H935.Ebook] Download Body Encyclopedia: A Guide to the Psychological Functions of the Muscular System, by Lisbeth Marcher, Sonja Fich

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Body Encyclopedia: A Guide to the Psychological Functions of the Muscular System, by Lisbeth Marcher, Sonja Fich

Based on Bodynamic Analysis, a body-oriented psychology developed in Denmark by the authors and their colleagues, Body Encyclopedia describes the developmental sequence in which psychological and emotional elements are linked to specific muscles. The book shows how certain responses to events in our lives end up bound and connected with our movement patterns. Through extensive research, Marcher, Fich, and several others have mapped out the psychological functions of 154 muscles and related tissues.

Featuring more than 200 detailed illustrations, Body Encyclopedia opens with an introduction to the history and development of Bodynamic Analysis. The core of the book presents a description of each muscle, including movement positions, age level when the muscle is activated, and a summary of the psychological themes associated with each muscle. Basic instructions are provided for bodymapping, a hands-on procedure that involves palpating and registering muscle response. Vivid case studies demonstrate how to apply the information in real-life situations. Using the book as a guide, readers can accurately identify and investigate the underlying psychological issues associated with muscle pain, discomfort, or weakness in specific areas of the body.

  • Sales Rank: #288505 in Books
  • Published on: 2010-11-30
  • Released on: 2010-11-30
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.98" h x 1.31" w x 8.01" l, 2.93 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 568 pages

Review
“Long awaited, much anticipated, and truly a magnum opus, Body Encyclopedia brings together many decades of research and clinical practice. Lisbeth Marcher, Sonja Fich, and their colleagues have produced an unparalleled system of both diagnosis and treatment that will place body psychotherapy, and especially Bodynamics, in the mainstream of both psychotherapy and medicine. This work is both scientifically rigorous and accessible to all professionals in the field of health care.”
—Jacqueline A. Carleton, PhD, editor of the United States Association for Body Psychology Journal
 
“I believe that most schools of psychology and therapy have failed to understand fundamental ways humans use to make meaning about themselves in the world. Marcher, Fich, and their Bodynamic colleagues make a stunning step forward in overcoming this error by providing a fundamental developmental framework that helps us to understand the pathways humans move through and how to work effectively with our patients, young and old.”
—Ed Tronick, PhD, professor of psychology, University of Massachusetts; chief faculty, Infant-Parent Mental Health Post-Graduate Certificate Program, University of Massachusetts; and director, Child Development Unit, Children's Hospital Boston, Harvard Medical School
 
“Body Encyclopedia brings together forty years of rigorous research, theory, and practice in the field of mind-body psychotherapy. In an outstanding class of its own, it contains the most precise anatomical understanding of the human condition along with numerous practice exercises generously articulated throughout the book. This offering from Lisbeth Marcher, Sonja Fich, and their Bodynamic colleagues brings a whole new level of essential knowledge to the field.”
—Ian Macnaughton PhD, RCC, past president of the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors and editor of Body, Breath, and Consciousness and Embodying the Mind and Minding the Body
 
“Body Encyclopedia by Lisbeth Marcher and Sonja Fich is the most detailed study of functional muscular anatomy for therapists that exists. This book will be an invaluable reference for all body psychotherapists.”
—Dr. David Boadella, founder of Biosynthesis and the Energy and Character journal

“Some forty years of research and theory come together in this key acquisition… It offers a satisfying blend of tested results from clinical practice paired with decades of research, considering diagnosis and treatment that will place body psychotherapy in line with mainstream medicine. … Not to be missed!”
—Midwest Book Review

About the Author
Lisbeth Marcher and Sonja Fich are two of the cofounders of the Bodynamic Institute, a worldwide organization that offers Bodynamic Analysis training and services. Marcher is president of the European Association for Body-Psychotherapy. Fich is a psychotherapist, bodynamic analyst, and relaxation educator. Both live in Denmark.

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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
An Important Textbook
By Peter A. Levine
This "encyclopedia" is a most important reference for serious students of body oriented psychotherapy. While it is most useful in the context of Bodynamic Analysis, the volume is a rich resource of complex and detailed information that body therapists can study to enrich their practices. The book could benifit from more conceptual material. Not easy but deep.

Peter A Levine, PhD
Author of: In an Unspoken Voice, How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Useful Only within the Framework Of Bodynamic Analysis
By Passionate Therapist
This is an extremely high quality book packed with information. However the terminology and taxonomy of information is all specialized according to bodynamic analysis. This book is not an introduction or explanation of bodynamic analysis either. It is more like a reference book for practitioners. Without that training I cannot make use of this book. The title makes it seem more general in applicability.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Activating the soul through the body
By Michel Heller
This is an excellent and stimulating presentation of one of the leading schools of Body Psychotherapy. It allows the reader to enter in the realm of the highly varied interfaces that connect psychological, breathing and muscular dynamics.

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Sabtu, 21 Januari 2012

[W668.Ebook] Free Ebook A Coffin for Dimitrios Number 8, by Eric Ambler

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A Coffin for Dimitrios Number 8, by Eric Ambler

#8 in the Dell Great Mystery Library Series

  • Sales Rank: #2595612 in Books
  • Published on: 1957
  • Binding: Paperback

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Literary Research on a Criminal
By Acute Observer
A Coffin for Dimitrios

Charles Latimer was a lecturer in political economy in England. In his mid-30s he began to write detective stories, and became successful enough to make a new career. While traveling abroad in Turkey he was introduced to the Chief of the Secret Police. Colonel Haki told him about finding a body, and Charles asked to visit the mortuary for the experience. Intrigued by the history of this Dimitrios, Charles decided to follow the trail and act as a detective. Dimitrios escaped Smyrna in August 1922 and went to Sofia, Belgrade, Paris, Lyons, and other places. The police knew of him, but can't prove anything. Then his body was found in Istanbul. Charles Latimer traveled to these places to try to learn something. One unforeseen fact is that it is dangerous for a literary person to get involved with criminals; they don't appreciate the interest shown in them! But a Mr. Peters offered to help him in his research by referring him to a retired businessman in Geneva. Charles Latimer should have found a cause for alarm when told he had valuable information, but didn't know what it was! But he continued his journey without any fear.

Chapter IX tells how a spy gained the friendship and confidence of a clerk in a government ministry. The clerk needed the money after he lost at a rigged card game. Peters told how he smuggled heroin to France in a coffin, but that couldn't be done regularly. The end of Chapter XI reveals the secret of Latimer's knowledge. [This is similar to Graham Greene's story "The Third Man".] Mr. Peters will profit from this knowledge. Their last meeting ends with rough justice. Charles Latimer decides to set his next mystery in an English country village. The ending seems unreal, forced by the need for Latimer's survival.

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Kamis, 19 Januari 2012

[K500.Ebook] PDF Ebook The Drama of Being a Child, by Alice Miller

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The Drama of Being a Child, by Alice Miller

The first publication of Drama of Being a Child and of this 1997 edition are separated by fifteen years of experience - the author's experience with her own self-therapy and with other recent therapy methods, and finally her knowledge of the life histories of the several thousand readers who have written to her. The research into childhood she has undertaken in this period has led to further fine-tuning of her earlier findings, as is ocumented and illustrated here with an abundance of examples. The author examines the consequences of repression at personal and social levels, the causes of the physical and psychological harm done to children and how this can be prevented, and finally the new methods at our disposal for dealing with the consequences of infant traumas.

  • Sales Rank: #889160 in Books
  • Published on: 1995-04-27
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.76" h x .47" w x 5.08" l, .32 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 176 pages

Review
Rare and compelling in its compassion and its unassuming eloquence...her examples are so vivid and so ordinary they touch the hurt child in us all NEW YORK MAGAZINE

Language Notes
Text: English (translation)
Original Language: German

About the Author
Alice Miller lives in France. For more than twenty years she taught and practised psychoanalysis. In 1973, due to her spontaneous painting she discovered her childhood history. Now, she radically questions the validity of psychoanalytic theories. As a result, in 1988 she resigned from the International Psychhoanalytical Association and, in 1995, revised 'The Drama of being a Child'.

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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
This book was a life changer for me... It gave me hope when all was lost.
By WanderingK1ng
This was the first book that I've ever read that told me what I felt and experienced is real and meaningful. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family as most do these days, I have been struggling for many years with depression, thoughts of suicide, and emptiness. Until I discovered Alice Miller and her wonderful work. She details the trauma that childhoods can cause, often unintentionally, that carry into our adult lives shaping who we are.

What a relief when Alice was describing feelings and experiences. It's like she was seeing through the eyes of my childhood! What a moment! I wept with tears of joy. The feeling of simply being seen, felt, and validated is one that cannot be put into words. This book gave me the hope and courage to press on. Thanks to Alice Miller, and her work upon the planet, I can happily move forward reconnecting with the lost self within. What a gift!

Please honor yourself by picking up this book. Anyone who struggles with their life and pain, this book could a real life changer!

76 of 81 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent book!
By Hsiao Yu Chen
I just finished reading the book and am still in the process of digesting it. Frequently, the book pin points my life with shocking accuracy. I won't be discussing the content because it's quite heavy. This books seems to be aiming at psychologists because each part has a chapter for therapists. It also has a European color, especially German. Outside of these parts, I felt that the book was talking directly to me.

I like the condensed quality of the book. Written in the 80s, when each sentence is to be digested. Books published today generally have larger volumes of repetitive concepts. I'd much prefer to read and digest one inspirational sentence at a time, and revisit frequently.

update:

Since Alice Miller has passed away, her website no longer gets updated with new emails from readers, I'll write down some of the awakenings I found reading the book. A lot of buried memories started to come back and a lot of my strange behaviors are starting to make sense. They all rooted in childhood.

- I have a life long yearning for freedom that I never could explain.
- I have impossibly high standards for myself in terms of achievements and strength. I can't stand to be anywhere near the weak or the stupid.
- I don't have non-productive hobbies. My activities are all "useful." e.g. I don't read fictions.
- I have an extraordinary high tolerance for pain starting from early childhood. I remember as a pre-teen I fell playing basketball and got a patch of bloody road rash on my knee. I vividly remember being terrified because I ripped my brand new jeans, not because of the blood and open wound. Also, I never understood why people are afraid of dentists.
- I don't express any emotions, and most of the time I don't experience any emotions. Even in extreme circumstances. I never thought much of it until somebody told me that it isn't normal.
- Everything I do is, at the most basic level, a defensive mechanism. I know for years that I'm a master defender, which means I can un-arm most people within a minute or two, with all sorts of tactics, charm, humor, charisma, etc, etc. But I stay away from making connections with people.
- My entire adult dating life has been plaque with fear and anger of women. and severe depression.

Memories are starting to come in. New dreams, too. I started to realize how unreasonable my mother was when she demanded me not to cough nor sneeze when I was sick as a child, or she would beat me up. I never had a sick day until I went to boarding school at 16. I remember how I was proud of my being able to control my body to not cough or sneeze. It never occurred to me until now that this was an inhumane demand from my mother. I also started to realize how unreasonable and irresponsible she was to blame me for her bad marriage.

More and more facts are starting to flow from my deep subconscious. I am very thankful that I found this book. Thank you, Alice Miller, wherever you are.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
This book shows the way to get well from lifelong depression.
By Puddleducks
One of the most helpful books I've ever read, for people suffering from depression and anxiety. Alice Miller doesn't play around, or mince words when she explains in no uncertain terms, how and why just about anyone with lifelong depression got that way. This book has such insight and wisdom, that people in their twenties just might not "get it"--I know I didn't, and neither did one of my friends. But after running into all kinds of walls, in terms of trying to get well, I rediscovered this book and found that it describes the one and only way to get well, and it's not a quick fix, and it's not something a person can do without emotions. It's a journey. This is one of the few books to show the map to the treasure--the treasure being wellness, and getting rid of the false self and discovering one's true self.

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Selasa, 17 Januari 2012

[G486.Ebook] Free Ebook Latinoamerica: Su civilizacion y su cultura, by Eugenio Chang-Rodriguez

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Latinoamerica: Su civilizacion y su cultura, by Eugenio Chang-Rodriguez

Offering an insightful and unified view of Latin American culture, this informative text examines the history and cultures of all countries of Latin America.

  • Sales Rank: #1425899 in Books
  • Published on: 1991-07-24
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.50" h x 6.50" w x 1.00" l,
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 480 pages

Language Notes
Text: Spanish

About the Author
Dr. Rodriguez received his Ph.D. from the University of Washington and an Honorary Doctorate in Letters from the National University Federico Villarreal of his native Peru.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Book was very falsely advertised
By EmehgeeEn
The same thing happened to me. I received the second edition- also in poor condition. The picture very falsely advertises the book. I understand that I only paid a few dollars for it but had I known it was two editions older than what I needed, I would have happily paid a higher price for the proper book. I could not find an explanation anywhere on the product description or invoice that it was the second edition. Will not purchase from this seller again.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
picture is a lie
By Jessica Rojas
the picture lied. it is not this version. i received the 2nd version and a very old used one at that

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Jumat, 13 Januari 2012

[W394.Ebook] Free PDF Project Planning and Scheduling Using Primavera Contractor Version 4.1: For the Construction Industry, by Paul E Harris

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Project Planning and Scheduling Using Primavera Contractor Version 4.1: For the Construction Industry, by Paul E Harris

The book is packed with screen shots, constructive tips and is available in paperback and A4 spiral bound, which lies flat on the desk and is suitable as a training course handout and for learning the software. The book contains workshops with solutions at the end of each chapter for the reader to practice the skills taught in the chapter. This book is may be used for learning Primavera Contractor Cersion 4.1 software as either: - A self teach book, or - A user guide, or - A training manual for a two day training course.

  • Sales Rank: #2383386 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Eastwood Harris Pty Ltd.
  • Published on: 2005-08-19
  • Released on: 2005-08-19
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 10.50" h x .50" w x 8.00" l, 1.13 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 220 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
Paul Harris holds an Honours Degree in Civil Engineering obtained in the UK and is a Certified Cost Engineer through AACEI International, a certified PRINCE2 Practitioner and Approved PRINCE2 Trainer. He has worked in the project controls industry for a number of years and has assisted many companies in a range of industries to set up and run project controls systems. His Melbourne, Australia based company, Eastwood Harris Pty Ltd, offers project controls consulting and training services with a strong focus on Microsoft Project and Primavera software.

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Kamis, 12 Januari 2012

[K964.Ebook] Ebook Free Cloud Waltzer, by Tory Cates

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Cloud Waltzer, by Tory Cates

In the second sweeping Western romance in a series written by a Rita Award-winning author, a woman risks losing the love of her life by trying to keep her past a secret.

ROMANCES AS ENDURING AS THE AMERICAN WEST!

The magic of ballooning. The wonder of love. Award-winning author Tory Cates sweeps us away to the open skies of New Mexico with a story that floats into our hearts.

Meredith Tolliver has cast off her old gray life as an investment banker. Enchanted by the warmth and bright colors of sunny Albuquerque, she’s made a fresh, buoyant future for herself, turning her financial knowledge and her way with words into a new life as a reporter—far from the wintery secrets that weighted her down in Chicago.

She’s happy with being single, too . . . until she meets the mysterious tycoon Archer Hanson. The conflicting rumors about him intrigue her as a reporter. Is he a self-made man? Or did he inherit his father’s millions? Is he a fair boss? Or is he a ruthless tyrant? But when the handsome Archer takes her for a ride in his hot-air balloon—the magnificent Cloud Waltzer—it is Meredith’s response as a woman that threatens her hard-won peace. Dare she respond to Archer’s rugged charm and soar away into the unknown with him?

  • Sales Rank: #1410461 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2013-12-31
  • Released on: 2013-12-31
  • Format: Kindle eBook

Review
"The conflicting emotions in Cloud Waltzer are deeply affecting...passionately romantic with genuinely sincere feelings." (SingleTitles )

"Excitement, sexual tension, and fulfillment . . . it is all there." (Sara Luck, bestselling author of Hearts Unbound )

"An abundance of emotionally demanding scenes, one after another."  (Single Titles )

About the Author
Tory Cates is a Rita Award nominee who lives in Texas.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Cloud Waltzer Chapter 1
Meredith Tolliver searched through her closet, passing long, slender fingers over a variety of silks and delicate woolens. The fabrics, all in subdued shades of brown, khaki, and gray, were fashioned into exquisitely tailored suits and blouses, skirts and blazers. They sported labels and designs that subtly whispered messages of restrained elegance and unrestrained price tags. As she flipped faster and faster through them, the colors blended into one monotonous beige muddle of man-tailored blouses and vested suits. Meredith despised every one of them.

Seemingly without her willing them to, her hands and eyes reached out toward the more recent purchases in her closet. She felt for the nubby cotton of the blouse she’d bought in Santa Fe last week, where she’d met the woman who had handwoven the simple top of eye-dazzling pinks and oranges. She yearned to wear the blouse with her corduroy wraparound skirt of periwinkle blue.

Reluctantly, Meredith banished the idea of wearing the gaily colored clothes. This was most assuredly not the day for indulging her rainbow-hued fancies. She returned to the sober garments she’d rejected.

The trappings of my past life, she reflected, holding out the sleeve of a gray raw-silk suit. It was a life she’d struggled valiantly to lay to rest, but still had to resurrect at times like these to sustain the new life she was in the process of building. She decided that the gray silk was as good a choice as any.

She tugged it out of the closet. It was still encased in the plastic bag from the cleaners in Chicago where she used to take everything except her underwear to be laundered. As an investment banker who could make tens of thousands of dollars for her clients with a couple minutes of phone calls, Meredith’s time was far too valuable for her to spend it washing blue jeans. She ripped the bag off her suit and took it into the bathroom with her. The steam from her shower should unkink whatever wrinkles a half a year of disuse had crimped into it.

Half an hour later she was fumbling in front of the bathroom mirror with a scarf as she attempted to knot it about her neck. Damn, she hissed under her breath as the slinky material refused to transform itself into the rosette bow she desired. She was out of practice. Cursing under her breath, Meredith wondered why she was even bothering. Then she reminded herself that if she was going to convince Archer Hanson to agree to an interview with her, she would have to look the part of the successful financial writer she was trying to become.

Worse, though, than the recalcitrant scarf, the long stay in the steamy bathroom had yanked out every bit of the hot-rollered curl she had labored to apply to her stick-straight blond hair and it fell in a straight line to just below the curve of her chin.

She’d always worn it long in Chicago because that was the way Chad had liked it. Each morning she’d spun the pale rope into a chignon before going to work. Then, on those nights when she wasn’t too exhausted and he wasn’t too busy, Chad had unpinned the bun with a kind of ritualistic zeal, freeing the long, corn-silk blond strands.

As soon as she’d moved to New Mexico, Meredith had chopped off the blond extravagance of her hair, ordering the hairdresser to shape it into a blunt cut that would require no maintenance whatsoever. She ended up with a style reminiscent of the little Dutch boy on paint cans, but she loved the weightless, free feel of it anyway.

“At last,” she sighed as the scarf finally obeyed, flopping into an acceptable shape on her shirt front. With the triumphant breath that Meredith sucked in, however, the button on her skirt popped off, ricocheting across the tiled floor. Her annoyance at the lost fastener was short-lived. All she had to do to restore her spirits was to remember those hideous days when she’d had to pin up the back of this very same skirt so that it wouldn’t slide right off her. The memory caused Meredith to become inordinately pleased by this latest testimony to her recent weight gains.

In any event, she didn’t have the time now to deal with a missing button. She dashed out, picking up her jacket on the way. She simply wouldn’t take it off, and no one would ever need to know about the popped button.

As she stepped out the front door, she was surprise-attacked by a rush of emotion that she should have become accustomed to by now. But each time she stepped outside, she fell in love with New Mexico all over again. Even in the long line of spectacular days which had preceded it, Meredith knew that this particular day would be a standout. October the third. She engraved the date in her memory along with the image of a lustrous black raven winging its way across a crystalline blue sky. As she followed the bird’s flight it led her to an even more extraordinary sight: a gigantic striped orb wobbling up through the cool morning air. For a fleeting instant she couldn’t imagine what it was, until she suddenly remembered—the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta was starting tomorrow. She’d simply been too busy researching Archer Hanson to take any more than a perfunctory interest in the event.

She interpreted her first sighting of a gaily decorated hot-air balloon as a good omen. She steadfastly refused to take it any other way—she would need all the luck she could muster for her meeting with Archer Hanson.

*  *  *

The headquarters of the Hanson Development Corporation was far out in Albuquerque’s North Valley, where orchards, small ranches, and expensive new subdivisions blossomed along the Rio Grande. Meredith always enjoyed this drive along the narrow, twisting road since it took her past one very special pasture that was fenced in with thick railroad ties. Inside this heavy-duty fence were living relics of the old West, a herd of buffalo. The sight of the beasts’ barrel-chested bodies never failed to delight Meredith.

Today, however, she was too intent upon rehearsing the words that would convince Mr. Hanson to let her interview him to notice the shaggy creatures. She pulled up in front of the renovated adobe that served as the corporation’s headquarters and entered through an enclosed courtyard.

“May I help you?” the receptionist, a brunette with a headful of doll-like curls, asked.

“Yes, I’m Meredith Tolliver. I have an appointment with Mr. Hanson.”

The receptionist ran a polished nail down the appointment calendar in front of her. “I’m sorry.” She looked up coolly. “But when you didn’t arrive fifteen minutes ago at your appointment time, Mr. Hanson called in one of his foremen for a conference. He just arrived. Would you care to reschedule?”

“No.” Meredith shook her head, annoyed at herself and her silly scarf for her tardiness. “I’ll wait until he’s free if that’s all right.”

“Suit yourself,” the receptionist replied in what struck Meredith as a rather unprofessional tone.

Meredith found a seat, almost glad for the delay. It would give her a chance to review the file she’d collected on Archer Hanson. Or rather had attempted to collect. It was a pretty thin and sketchy affair, which was one reason she’d been so intrigued by the man. From the articles she’d culled from the financial section of the Albuquerque Journal, it was quite evident that Archer Hanson was a pivotal force in the state’s economy, possibly the pivotal force. It was hard to tell, though, because all either she or the Journal had been able to come up with were reports on matters of public record, such as the filing of the building permit for the multimillion-dollar convention center complex that had become the hub of downtown Albuquerque, or the opening of his solar research firm a couple of years ago.

Though no one had ever put Archer Hanson’s whole story together, Meredith had traced back bits and pieces of it. She’d discovered that his father, Gunther Hanson, had made a fortune in the Texas oil fields in the sixties. The common assumption was that the old man had bankrolled his only son and that he was the one who had played puppet master to Archer’s career.

Maybe that was another reason why this untold story appealed to Meredith so strongly. If anyone knew about the machinations of wealthy fathers, she did. The thought disturbed her, but she clung to it anyway. If her painfully gathered insights could help her capture this story, she couldn’t afford to let them slip away just because they stirred up the old hurt.

She thumbed through her notes again. They were long on the hard one-dimensional facts that could be culled from Dun & Bradstreet financial reports about Archer Hanson, the entrepreneur, and terribly short on information about Archer Hanson, the man. In all her preliminary research she hadn’t even come across one photograph of him. Based on the fact that Hanson senior was in his mid-seventies, Meredith had reckoned that Hanson Junior must be in his early to mid-fifties.

Without any conscious effort on her part, she’d evolved a mental image of the man. To have accomplished what he had over the past years, he would have to be something of a workaholic. Given that assumption, Meredith had imagined a stoop-shouldered, bald man of enormous mental capabilities who had gone a bit to seed physically.

She smoothed a nonexistent crease out of her skirt, glad that she had decided to wear what she now considered her “corporate camouflage.” The Hanson headquarters presented the understated elegance of the very powerful. Meredith saw it all around her. She knew what property in the North Valley cost and how expensive old adobes had become. Hanging on a wall behind the receptionist was an original Fritz Scholder. She knew that museums could barely afford to acquire the Native American artist’s work. Being in the heart of the corporate beast again caused her palms to slick over and her stomach to pull into a hard knot.

The phone purred.

“Yes, Miss Tolliver is here now.” The receptionist emphasized the last word almost as if she were scolding Meredith for her tardiness. Meredith quickly dug through her purse for a tissue to wipe her palms. She wanted a dry, confident hand to extend to Mr. Hanson.

The door to the office opened and a weather-beaten man holding a battered cowboy hat backed out.

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll get right on it. Be back with you in a day or two.” The man jammed the hat onto his head and closed the door behind him. He leaned in close to the receptionist on his way out and confided to her in a low voice: “Boy, is he ever riled about the slowdown at the mine. Told me if I didn’t get things cleared up pronto, he’d have my hide.”

Meredith could just imagine how upset Mr. Hanson was at having his cash flow impeded. Knowing what she did about mine conditions in general, she figured the slowdown was some kind of labor protest that the foreman had been ordered to stamp out. A thread of guilt pulled tight within her at the memory of her own involvement in a world where the bottom line always came before human concerns.

“You’d better get on it, then, Mr. Nelson,” the receptionist replied coolly to the distraught foreman’s whispered confidence. She looked away as he departed and quirked an eyebrow in Meredith’s direction. “You can go in now.” Her tone implied that any fool would have already figured that out for herself.

Meredith gathered up her file, notebook, and purse. A mild flutter pushed her pulse up. Sternly she reminded herself that this was hardly the first time she’d stepped into the lion’s den of corporate power. She’d once occupied one herself. Or something fairly close. She’d advised shipping tycoons, oil billionaires, and industrial magnates without giving it a second thought. Of course, she had never cared as much as she cared now, and that, Meredith supposed, made the difference.

She turned the knob and stepped into a whirlwind. As impeccably furnished and immaculately cared for as the reception area had been, Hanson’s office was just as slapdash and chaotic. Papers were stacked everywhere. Empty foam cups were stacked in precarious pyramids. It was impossible to tell much about the furniture because every piece of it was buried beneath annual reports, yellowing copies of The Wall Street Journal, and casually discarded pieces of clothing.

It took a moment for Meredith to turn her attention from the turmoil to the object of her visit. She searched behind the mountain of papers on the desk and found a jeans-clad man, his booted feet propped up on the desktop, talking on the phone. His rangy body was stretched back in his swivel chair so far that he was close to lying down. He was glowering at the ceiling, completely unaware of Meredith’s presence.

Surely, Meredith thought, Archer Hanson had stepped out for a moment and this was his son. A quick glance at his profile registered that this man couldn’t be older than mid-thirties. Given her approximation of Archer Hanson’s age, this man must be his son. He looked the part of the idle rich kid too, she decided, with his wind- and sun-reddened face and the kind of leanly muscled body that was most at home ranging over a tennis court or a polo pony. She’d grown up with spoiled, entitled boys just like him. She hoped he wouldn’t stay around once his father returned.

“Right,” he barked into the phone. “I heard all that already. But I don’t want excuses and rationalizations. I want action.”

His angry words blistered the air around Meredith. She pitied whoever was on the other end of the line. Probably a car mechanic, she hypothesized, who couldn’t get this rich kid’s Jaguar back to him quickly enough. He was so caught up in his temper tantrum that Meredith was able to observe him at her leisure. A thatch of hair, as blond as hers, yet just as wildly unruly as hers was neatly straight, swept back from a high forehead dominated by dark brows and lashes. This contrast between blond and sable lent his face a striking air of drama.

Abruptly he turned to her. Meredith was startled by the eyes she found turned upon her. The irises were the kind of blue that made her think of the deep end of the pool on a hot summer day. Now, lit as they were by the flame of rage, they took on that unearthly aura that sometimes radiates from light, light blue eyes. For a moment Hanson’s son looked like a crazed malamute. The effect was heightened by the dark lashes that framed the rage-paled eyes. With his ear and mind still turned to the person on the other end of the phone, he stabbed his forefinger in the air a few times, pointing toward a chair. Meredith unscrambled his message and took a seat.

“Fine. I told Nelson that I wanted a full report in the next day or two. Why don’t you see to it that he has some good news for me, or you’ll both be looking for new jobs.”

Disapproval curdled Meredith’s expression as Hanson’s son slammed down the phone. She had known too many men just like him. Born into privilege and luxury, they spent their pampered lives terrorizing and bullying everyone unfortunate enough to cross their paths as they acted out their grotesque parodies of the real power that their influential fathers wielded. It was a parody she had come horrifyingly close to perpetuating herself. She was determined that Hanson’s son would not get the chance to exercise his petty tyranny over her.

Before he could speak, Meredith stated her mission in a prim voice, “I’m here to see your father, Archer Hanson.”

The fury staining Hanson’s cheeks gradually subsided. As it did, the color in his face seemed to seep into the crystal eyes, darkening them to a slightly more ordinary hue. As he collected himself, Hanson appeared to finally notice Meredith. He crossed his arms over his chest and, still leaning far back in the reclining chair, cocked his head and studied her. He put one finger to his lips in a mock pensive pose.

“You’re here to see my ‘father’? Archer Hanson?” he asked with a superciliousness that was not lost on Meredith.

She felt her dislike crystallize into an icy hostility that seamed her lips into a tight, prissy line. It was all so disgustingly familiar. The sassy rich kid toying with what he took to be his inferior. Never mind the underling’s sense of dignity; that was all too easily sacrificed for a moment of amusement.

“That’s correct,” she replied with all the curtness she could inject into the answer.

A smile crept across Hanson’s face. Meredith knew that her bristling, spinsterish appearance and answer were the source of his amusement. It had amused others before. Combined with her fair hair and porcelain skin, the aloof professional demeanor she had cultivated when she started to work for her father had earned her the nickname Ice Princess. Hanson probably thought that his smile would be enough to melt even the heart of an Ice Princess. She suspected that he probably had ample evidence with which to back up that theory.

“First of all,” he said through a barricade of orthodontically perfect teeth, “my father’s name is Gunther Hanson. And second, I’m Archer Hanson.”

Meredith was on the verge of disputing that claim when the rakish smile disappeared and the casual posture was dropped. It became all too apparent in that one moment that this man had no need to parody power, for he generated an abundant supply of his own. Meredith had survived for years in her former profession by developing catlike emotional reflexes. She summoned them up now and refused to let embarrassment disconcert her. She stood and stiffly stretched out her hand. Archer Hanson leaned forward without standing and took it.

“I’m Meredith Tolliver. Perhaps you’ve read my column in the local paper.”

“No, Miss Tolliver, I’m afraid I don’t get much time to read popular periodicals.”

“I doubt that it would interest you much anyway. It’s a financial column geared for the average person. I also freelance for several business magazines. The editor of Enterprise wrote recently asking if I might be able to do a profile on you, Mr. Hanson.”

“So old Charlie is at it again, eh?” Hanson smiled broadly as Meredith thought of Charles Wendler, editor of the country’s most respected business publication, being referred to as “old Charlie.”

“I hate to burst any bubbles, Miss, Miss . . .” Hanson whirled his hand in the air as if groping for the name that eluded him. It stung Meredith a bit to realize that she had made no more of an impression upon Archer Hanson than he had upon her.

“Tolliver,” she supplied stiffly.

“Right. Tolliver,” he burst out as if she’d correctly answered an especially difficult item on an oral quiz. “But you’re the fourth reporter Charlie has tossed my way. You wouldn’t have gotten past the receptionist except that she’s new and I haven’t had time to explain to her that I don’t care to see any member of the press at any time.”

“I certainly didn’t intend to force myself on you,” Meredith answered coolly. Inside she was shrieking with the desire to turn sharply on her heel and leave. Preferably with a satisfyingly resonant slam of the door behind her. Much as it galled her to even appear that she was pursuing this insufferably arrogant man, she had no choice. If she planned on establishing herself as a business writer, she absolutely couldn’t go back to Charles Wendler empty-handed. “It’s just that there’s been so little written about you beyond the bare bones facts of your business dealings. I’d like to flesh out that picture a bit.”

“Miss Tolliver, if it were up to me not even the barest of my bones would ever appear in print.” Hanson did nothing to soften the brusque finality of his comment. “I haven’t been terribly impressed by my few experiences with business reporters. They’ve been underinformed and overzealous and I’d prefer just to avoid the entire issue. So, if you will excuse me, I’m sure you have a busy day ahead of you.”

Rather than stand up as Hanson clearly expected her to do, Meredith slumped farther into her chair. “You’re wrong, Mr. Hanson. I don’t have a busy day ahead of me. I have a very empty day. I’ve finished my column for the week and have no other assignments. I’m running out of my savings from my old job and what they pay at the paper for my column barely keeps my cat fed. I can understand your feelings”—Meredith was not going to let the depression that was threatening to crush her creep into her voice—“but I am neither underinformed nor overzealous. I brought along clippings of my column and some of the magazine articles I’ve freelanced.”

For a long moment Hanson stared at the odd woman who seemed to have collapsed in front of him. He carefully slid his legs off of his desk and faced her head-on. When he spoke again it was with the voice of a completely different person. It was almost as if, at the same time that Meredith abandoned her Ice Princess armor, he laid aside his hard-boiled facade. “Come on, then,” he prompted gently, “let’s have a look.”

He extended a large hand toward the portfolio that Meredith clenched on her lap. She stood awkwardly before him and passed over the collection of her work. He leafed through it, pausing to read sections with an absorption so total that Meredith felt he’d forgotten she was there. The sound of his voice startled her.

“Unlike most of your colleagues, Miss Tolliver, you do seem to have a passing acquaintance with your subject.” He continued studying the clippings spread before him. Suddenly he glanced up. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Meredith, brightening somewhat at his encouraging tone, delivered a truncated version of her professional résumé. “Master’s from the Wharton Business School in Philadelphia. Then a year on the Street,” she said, watching Hanson’s reaction to be sure that he understood that she meant the Street, Wall Street. He did. “Then two years with an investment firm in Chicago.” She didn’t add that the firm was the largest of its kind in the country outside of New York. Or that it belonged to her father. “I’ve been in Albuquerque for nearly half a year now.”

Hanson scribbled some figures on his desk blotter. “That makes you what? Twenty-six, twenty-seven?”

“Twenty-six,” Meredith admitted reluctantly, afraid that her relative youth would be seen as a handicap. She was surprised that Hanson had guessed so accurately. Most people assumed that, with a master’s degree and several years experience, she must be considerably older than she was.

“Why’d you give it up? You were obviously a whiz kid, a Wall Street wunderkind on the express route straight to the top. Why are you out here scrambling around for freelance assignments?”

Meredith was no stranger to fielding hard questions and thinking under pressure, but this man’s directness unnerved her. She yearned again to escape. This time from his laserlike scrutiny. If Archer Hanson weren’t the one subject in Albuquerque who could guarantee her a feature story in Enterprise, she would have. But too much was at stake to indulge her pride. Instead she’d have to swallow it and at the same time convince him to agree to an interview. Meredith decided to try the truth. Or a small portion of it at any rate.

“I came out here a year ago last fall on a business trip and fell in love with New Mexico. When I went back to Chicago”—she paused, sorting through that tortured time in her life, looking for an explanation that wouldn’t be either a complete lie or too close to the truth—“my whole world suddenly seemed gray and empty.” It was an innocuous enough description. Meredith wondered grimly how the intimidating Mr. Hanson would react if he knew the facts it hid.

Her world had begun to come apart at the seams long before that trip. As her memory swirled briefly over it, one image surfaced from those memories: Meredith saw herself, alone, long after even the most ambitious workaholic had gone home, still slaving away in the plushly appointed office her father had insisted she take when she had started to work for him. It was an office that far exceeded her position as the most junior associate in the firm. Still he had insisted upon it, and Meredith had acceded to that wish just as she had to all his others ever since her brother’s death. She took the office, then proceeded to drive herself slowly crazy in her attempt to be worthy of it.

That was when the dieting had started. Convinced that she was a grotesque embarrassment to her father and his firm, she had whittled away at what seemed to be lumpy mounds of fat. She had dieted until there was no fat and nearly no flesh left. But instead of the walking skeleton that everyone else saw, when Meredith looked in the mirror she found a disgusting, undisciplined blob. That was when the whispers behind her back had begun, and the visits to doctors that her father insisted were just social calls. When the word anorexia had entered her vocabulary.

“Gray and empty?” Hanson prompted. The piercing eyes urged her on and suddenly the interview was forgotten. Meredith found herself aching to tell this man her whole story. About her illness, about Chad, about the ongoing dilemmas she lived with. Quickly she reminded herself that Archer Hanson was in the mold of privilege and insensitivity that she had struggled so desperately to free herself from. She would tell him the truth, but only a palatable, sanitized version.

“Yes, Chicago was gray, my job was gray, the weather was gray, and I was tired of it. I suppose most of all, I was tired of the gray men who had been populating my life and their dreary vision of life as a one-track scramble up the ladder of success with no stops for joy or laughter. They were devoid of passion, emotion, all the things that make life worth living. After my initial visit out here, I couldn’t stand the life I’d been living in that twilit country. I spent all my time daydreaming about moving out here where the colors are so vibrant they make your eyes ache.”

Archer Hanson fixed her with a stare that made Meredith think of her first glimpse of the New Mexico sky. Somehow she felt he’d understood everything she’d said. She’d forged a link with Archer Hanson. Surely he wouldn’t turn down her request now. Surely he could see that she wasn’t one of the bungling, inept reporters that blighted the profession she’d chosen. Buoyed up by that certainty, Meredith elaborated on her answer.

“Sure, I’m only making a fraction of what I made before. But there are other rewards. For the first time ever I feel like my life is my own. I don’t feel as if I’m living out someone else’s dream of success. I’m proud of the work I do, especially my column. I think it’s important to make finance understandable to ordinary people. To keep it from being a closed game played by anonymous men who hold all the cards of wealth and power.”

“Men like myself?” Hanson asked, steepling his hands on the desk in front of him.

Meredith suddenly felt that she had been lured into a trap, tricked into exposing herself. Still, she’d struggled too hard to uncover that self to deny it now. “Does the shoe fit, Mr. Hanson?” she asked with a disarming piquancy.

“That’s somewhat immaterial here, isn’t it? The relevant point is that I’d be a damned fool to let myself be interviewed by a writer who’d already pretty much made up her mind that I was going to wear that shoe whatever the fit.”

Meredith forced herself to answer in a neutral tone. “I haven’t come to any conclusions yet about you, Mr. Hanson.”

“Haven’t you? I wonder.” He spoke the words in a way that left no doubt that he had seen Meredith’s prejudices for what they were. “No, Meredith, I’m not going to allow this interview. But not for any of the reasons I’m sure you’ll come up with.”

In that moment, Meredith wasn’t sure whether the fact that Archer Hanson had blocked her way into Enterprise magazine or his demeaning use of her first name irritated her more. “Well, then, Archer”—she took pointed aim at his first name and then gleefully fired on it—“I won’t waste any more of your time.” She stood crisply, almost as if the icy armor of the Ice Princess were freezing around her again, and leaned forward to collect her portfolio from his desk. As she did, Archer Hanson clamped one strong hand around a wrist that appeared matchstick fragile by comparison.

“Since we’re already on a first-name basis, Meredith”—again he threw her name up to her, taunting the image of cool professionalism she wanted to project—“why don’t we have dinner together? You can tell me all about reshuffling the cards of wealth and power and I can . . . well, perhaps a woman like yourself would be more comfortable telling me exactly what she’d like from a man like myself.”

Meredith jerked her wrist free. Anger flushed a blaze of color into her cheeks. “Of all the arrogant, high-handed . . .” She let the words trail off in her mind. Sealing her mouth into a tight line, she wordlessly gathered up her other things and left.

What in God’s name had driven him to act like that? The question scalded Archer Hanson’s brain the instant the door closed with a barely muffled slam. He wished it were possible to rip the boorish words that he had spoken from the air around him. He winced as those words reverberated in his mind. Perhaps he’d spoken them as some kind of instinctual protest against the prejudices she had worn as surely as her executive-lady demeanor. For a second he wondered if those instincts might have been wrong.

No, he answered himself, Miss Meredith Tolliver had definitely come into his office with a strongly preconceived set of notions about the man she was going to be meeting. His tip-off had been the way she’d looked at him. It was a look that he’d become all too familiar with in his boyhood.

A brief remembrance of those days, of riding out with his father to the old man’s oil fields, came to Archer Hanson totally unbidden and fully intact. He saw himself sitting up as tall as a gangly eight-year-old could in the front seat of his father’s brand-new candy apple red Cadillac with white leather upholstery, watching the miles of beige landscape fly past his window.

His father, with his stockman’s narrow-brimmed cowboy hat clamped down on his head and half-moons of sweat forming under the arms of the long-sleeved shirts he always wore buttoned all the way up, kept the big car aimed straight down the middle of the road. The dust rolled in the windows as his father pushed the gas pedal down flat and they flew over those endless unpaved miles. Archer remembered thinking that no other boy had a father who could drive so straight and true. He’d nestled, utterly content, into the cushioning leather seat where his mother used to sit before she got sick and went to the hospital and never came home again.

That had been the same day that Archer first became aware that his view of his father as a shining hero didn’t jibe with the opinion the rest of the world held. He’d gone with Gunther to check on some drilling not too far from their home in Fort Worth. All the men had smiled and kowtowed to his father, to the big boss, when they were speaking to him directly. Archer, though, remembered walking away, then turning back briefly. That was when he saw it for the first time, the unconcealed contempt the workers held for the man who ruled their lives.

Much as Archer resisted at first, his childhood illusions began to dissolve that day. In time, he too saw the man those workers had seen. His father was bombastic, high-handed, spoiled, and a rank abuser of privilege. In short, he was everything that Archer himself had been with Meredith. Everything that she had expected him to be. For he’d caught the same look in her eyes today that he’d seen more than a quarter of a century ago in the eyes of those oil field workers.

“Damn her self-righteous assumptions,” Hanson breathed as he thought of her again. His burning annoyance mysteriously cooled, however, as he remembered the way her hair, that straight, silken curtain, had shimmered along the curve of her jaw as she’d leaned forward over his desk, touching him with the smell of perfume and the unconscious grace of her motions. He remembered her leaning there and the way her lips had hung above him like some unspeakably delectable fruit, plump and ready for the picking.

Irritation and arousal collided within Archer Hanson, muddling into a soppy pool of frustrated self-recriminations. He wished he could back up for only half an hour and start again. He’d still deny Meredith Tolliver her interview. But he wanted very badly to redo his refusal in such a way that he still might have a chance of tasting those lips.

Dammit all, Archer Hanson thought again as he plowed into the work waiting for him in a day already soured by regret.

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